JAG chat sheet 1-2011

It is a solid and immovable fact that a policeman will one day want to arrest you.

You might think that you know them. You may have nodded to them on occasion. You may even have had a pleasant discussion about any number of trivial and entertaining matters. But one day, down the back of the Museum, or in a dark car-park, the same person will suddenly become a copper!
rule No 1:
don’t get friendly with Mr Policeman.
If you are ever likely to be breaking the law: then don’t get to know the coppers!
Why? Think about it sensibly (I know it might make your head hurt but try)
1.     It provides them with the ability to make an instant identification of you.
2.     It makes it possible for the police to mistake someone else for you.
3.     Your name (as it is known) will be the one that goes into the Notebook whenever they see you with ‘unknown others’.
4.     If you are in a group you will be the one that is addressed.
rule No 2.
don’t talk with Mr Policeman.
If you are able to then avoid contact.
If contact is unavoidable then, if alone, you be the first to speak and
Say “It sure is a nice day isn’t it officer?”
“Is this the way to the bakery?” (“Great about the cricket eh?” etc etc)
NOTES: A ‘leading question’ is a question which suggests an answer. In this instance we are talking about  using ‘disarming leading questions’ which allow a person to immediately convey an impression that they are nice and friendly – law-abiding and entirely non-threatening – all at once.
In answer to any question be non-committal but polite.
rule No 3.
If all else fails then be polite to Mr Policeman
Use ‘sir’ or ‘officer’. It disarms the policeman and makes them be polite.
Say: “I’m sorry sir; I don’t quite understand what you mean?”
Instead of: “What the fuck are you on about?”
rule No 4.
don’t hassle Mr Policeman when he busts a mate (especially when he busts a mate).
If a friend is arrested then politeness is essential – you won’t be the one who cops the negative vibes that are instilled in the arresting officers – all this negativity will be visited on your mate!!
Come to a NIMBIN
Saturday 1st of January 2011

Behind the Museum in Mingle Park
(Down the alley and follow your nose)
10am – 1pm

Free snag sandwiches.
and a no-bullshit legal discussion

“How to talk to a policeman
(and survive)”

Jim Moylan.

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