Undaneath it all, lies the Great Mystery

When the Bosses brawl you can hear it for three kilometres on a still day. Like buffalo charging each other. Or giant walruses fighting over their harems.
The war on drugs has finally made it to HO (head office) where the differing views are clashing like Titans. Some have had enough, and for some it is never enough. Many have made small fortunes from the WOD (war on drugs) but there is always more. One of the Bosses had a favorite nephew and now he is dead.
The old bulls world was freedom. Coppers ruled and we wrote our own scripts. The new bull is a university graduate in criminology and thinks you can learn it all in a book. For him, the decades of experience we’ve had, count for zip.

So the Boss has been sending newbies out on the ‘nightmares’ as we call them. They get to hunt tattooed butchers on ice and bourbon while the old school is posted to stoned hippies who couldn’t hurt a fly. Predictably it has all backfired as manipulations so often do and the new troops twigged that the harder we bust weed the more druggies turn to powders and pills.

Also, the new drug testing is driving thousands away from pot to other drugs, all which leave the body in a few days. Many of our old school used to chill with a confiscated smoke but the random testing has caught too many, too often.
The laid back Sarge left without a goodbye. We were just getting to know each other and enjoyed some top sessions together after a days bust. We talked too much and of course it’s all recorded. You cannot think in this job, it’s almost forbidden in fact. Now I’m not allowed to any of the FFB’s (famous Force Christmas bbq’s) nor am I allowed to hang out socially with the uniforms. They’ve cut me adrift as they said they would if I got too hippy.

I cased schoolies for a few days and found again that weed was scarce as, with easily stashed pills everywhere. The kids just want to have fun and I left ’em alone.
Back in the office the standard orders remain utterly predictable. “Target all communities with ten point members”. Remember just living near Nimbin (5), long hair (5) and a beard (2) puts you over ten points, so communities who wish to avoid the choppers should have been wearing suits and looking normal. Too late now, the laborious research on local residents is all collated and on the giant HO wall maps. The hippy communities are crowded to bursting with markers. The choppers have no choice but to go straight there.
(Old balding and bearded hippies with pathetic scrawny ponytails, please note your almost hairless children have worked out the points system and rarely come up on the radar!)



The choppercrew did have it easy this year and said to tell everyone they appreciated the seedlings left out for them. Their WAGs fluked a good weeks weather at the Byron Resort too, with the best of the pot of course.
Beats me how even this crew still believe Nimbin must have a Mr Big. I keep telling them weed is like a religion to the crazed hippies who really believe growing good pot is doing Gods work and helping to enlighten people. What hope do we have with such fanatacism? At least the hippies use bongs not bombs and their heavenly virgins are available here and now and not after you blow yourself to pieces!

Don’t worry, the new commander will soon be here and if the suffocating layers of regulations dont render him harmless, you’ll have to start the education process all over again again again. Meanwhile on your toes Nimbin because the ADHD kid has been given the reins and he’s eyeing off another bonus European holiday though stopping tourists from buying weed in the Amsterdam cafes has put a serious damper on trips there for not only Kevin Rudd and Obama.

You do have a big weakness in the village tolerant I have to tell tell you, even if my pay gets docked for it. Tactically we all now realise sending in one loony can completely sort the tiny stoned village. One nutter who picks a few fights and the whole mood is switched from a delightful happy hippy fashion show to a bloodbath.
You hippies have a long way to go before you will ever be allowed to have a clean village image and by the way, scapegoating has three chapters all to itself in the new Manual of War. We get to use the very same new edition they have in Afghanistan and you’ve probably noticed the tactical changes and the lack of difference it is making.



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