The Dalai came to me in a dream saying if he had to come back again he wanted to be reborn on a hippy commune.
“Like the ones you’ve been telling me about. In a forest community in that huge land of yours with so few people”, he said. “Rough times are approaching, find me an appropriate hippy earth mother who likes meditating.” Why is he always laughing and happy I kept thinking, even as he was asking me.
I told the Boss who got all self important, called Canberra and put me onto it full time. He’d heard the meditating hippies were smoking Afghani hash brought in by the soldiers and I was to try and find the source while gathering intel on possible birth mothers. The ever elusive Source, the Unda Holy Grail.
This worked perfectly with the new memo to clean up appearances and Bethany has scrubbed up a treat, now known as Clare who sits remarkably well in lotus considering all that street time in the gutter. And they are using hash, those clean looking meditators, in their breakfast porridge!
The Big Pharmas have given the Boss dozens of free weekends at the Ayers Rock (Uluru) resort, everything paid for. He’s got his own room, almost. They write him letters saying how much they appreciate the Forces work in keeping cannabis use under control and go on and on about the psychotic consequences that come from its use. The last one was such a suck letter even the Boss got suspicious. I told him the hippies have found the answer, and in his language, statistically.
In the last 50 years cannabis use has moved from virtually zero to over 50% of young men (most likely group to get psychosis.) And there is a zero increase in psychosis over the same period. He looked at me with the usual derision, but then made a tragic and sensational mistake. He asked Google. Hasn’t spoken to me since but I hear he was on the computer for the rest of that day and left quietly by the side door!
Times up for the ADHD kid who has hit the pond behind a WKTA (Well Known Tourist Attraction) so hard only the smart fish are left. He came a dismal eighth in this years BCA (Bust Champ Awards) and only got a week in Fiji. The Europe skiing holidays he’s come to expect every year went to a Melbourne cop who worked Smith Street to the bone and an old school racist type from Moree who worked the parkies harder than ADHD hassled the NLB.
HipiLeaks1; Grant says no more funding for SLU’s (Street Loser Unda’s) in Nimbin. The developers are screaming and although we maintain the hippies village must appear at all times to be destitute valley, enough is enough. The tourism trade is relevent and some important allies have invested in this valley. Undas to dress appropriately to help lift the image of the village is the new order. (Now that is news. A whole new tack. And significant for the little village we all suspect in the Force. Perhaps a new direction? Surely not a measure of acceptance.)
HipiLeaks2; Fear of course has always been the key to power over the people. Religious power is waning so health fears need to be highlighted now. Be it swine flu or pigeon flu, there is an increasing array of new airborne deadly viruses the public must arm themselves against with the latest medications. Military, the Force and certain Security firms are exempt from these programs and should not use the medications which can cause drowsiness.
HipiLeaks3; The US Presidents third attempt at visiting Aust must not include another drug interview. The inflatable joint must be kept out of sight. He must not see it. Already he has been asking questions after Rudd said to watch out for it on a recent visit when they enjoyed the local Dispensary together. Rudd favours and is outspoken about medical cannabis.