Unda James Price Point

My new meditating life didn’t last long as the Boss texts cynically, out of the blue.

“New karma for Bethany, little trip to the Kimberleys. There’s a bunch of her Nimbin mates up there causing trouble at the gas project.”

The next day, fully feralised again, I’m stepping off the plane in Broome to be instantly surrounded by fellow Force members, if only they knew. Nothing I can do but cop it sweet.

If any of their sexual offers had ever eventuated they’d have died of fright, I mused, but with no girls in their team they couldn’t search me properly and if only I’d kept Beth’s wicked feral tongue in its hole I would have got away much quicker. They never found the tola of hash of course.

The first blockade is a sandfly dustbowl thirty k’s into the middle of nowhere. Hippy drug free protest camps I know well from other jobs so I hitch on to the “move on order” camp near the beach. The hash opens doors like a skeleton key and I can soon sort out who’s who and what’s going on.

Back on the frontline there’s a few familiar faces from the Hempbar monitoring days and we’re just settling in when the cops arrive. If it wasn’t so tragic you’d laugh. The cops in their hot uniforms and covered in heavy clobber are left for dead by the Nimble ferals who dart off into the scrub to avoid getting a MOO.

The trucks pass through for a time until the cops are called back to Broome and the ferals block the road again. And so it goes. This is exactly what the Big Boss Control Freaks are terrified of and the SS (Satellite Stats) are showing a growing number of of EE’s (Environmental Extremists) gathering in the God forsaken place as the Boss, and Canberra, call it.

Half the local Force is already out on ‘stress and fatigue leave’ and most of them feel bad about the billion dollar gas project anyway. They like their town the way it is, and as the latest feral banner at the protest screams…NO JOBS ON A DEAD PLANET.



In the Unda report I emphasised all the EE’s were non-religious and probably non violent, which keeps it at a low priority. I didn’t tell them about the plans to bus up east coast fashion ferals to initiate them into the real thing. The Boss scoffed at my report, he never likes me but can’t resist Beth and her sexy hippy ways. He forgets who I am even more than I do, and there was a strange moment when he softened, but was quickly embarrassed.

They’re all embarrassed this week. Millions spent on the new global gang files only for the footage of the London riots to show it was never the gangs but the poor unemployed who did the looting. And nothing scares the Control Freaks like a headless serpent. Angry and unpredictable, centuries of inequality is coming home to roost as the Empires Karma catches up with the Motherland, says the Dalai in a text.

Speaking of which, the NLB finally made it onto the GGWD (Global Gang Watch Database). The entry says (as advised by local Unda activity!) these healthy and wealthy potboys pose little real threat and in fact are known for their humour, football skills, and generally courteous if a little crude behaviour. Occasional tantrums are known when they drift into chemical drugs or a girlfriend departs. Left alone with their herb they are relatively harmless. 

It is worth remembering when visiting them for business that 2 x 20 cent and 1 x 10 cent coin weighs an ounce. Gang danger rating….H (the lowest possible!) In other local news the ADHD kid has been replaced by thieves in the little weed village and as the Boss says, excited at the new tactics, it’s much cheaper and more effective. No one knows who it is and everyone starts to suspect each other. ADHD actually pulled the tribe together but thieving can tear ‘em apart from the inside he thinks.

Page Top